ohbloodyhell8

So as I am 95% misanthrope, I have been mostly ok with the current situation. But at times I do miss the company of humans. Obviously, my three stooges are here keeping me entertained, and I see my folks, my bro, some close friends every once and a while. But just general people? Been a long time and I hope I remember my manners when we finally see each other again face to face.

I have had to own the fact that even now that I have the “time” I have not improved my diet or exercise habits. I am pleased that I have not gained weight, but there is no excuse for not having lost weight and creating an exercise routine. I need to create new habits and I am always solid about my plans in the middle of the night, as I drift off to sleep. But in the day, with the light of the sun streaming in the window, I eat the M&Ms and I sit on my ass. So I need to substitute that with a walk, or a stretch, or anything. I am sure I would see results quickly just by cutting out the sugary snacks.

I have fun things to challenge myself with when I prioritize those things over playing yet another game on my phone. I have been taking classes in a master’s program, and I start teaching my class again next week. The brain work is good, as I fear my memory has taken a toll during this “timeless” year. I struggle to know what day of the week it is and have become overly reliant on my phone to know the actual date. There is a certain type of freedom in this though. I feel less first-world stress. I don’t mean to start a conversation about that, but that is the world I live in and those are the stresses I have. I am thankful for my education, but not the debt that hangs around my neck. Suffice it to say the return on investment they claim is not accurate. At least not with the choices and path I have walked. The first master’s I got was a step in the right direction, so I thought, but still twenty years later, it is only now beginning to show some benefit. I hope the next master’s helps more quickly. {giggle} I am also just investing in myself to avoid a narrow focus and becoming boring. I have been learning more about topics I have always wondered about, and I am crocheting.

Spending time with my sons is both wonderful and frustrating. They are at an age where spending umpteen months in lockdown with your parents is the last place they want to be. They should be forging their independence and learning how to make decisions, without me literally always in the next room. They will be fine, but this whole generation of teens is being shaped by this. The younger children are going to have different hurdles to deal with, and my heart weeps for how it will have shaped them when we start to really see it in ten years or so.

My dog has heightened anxiety because I rarely leave and now he cries when I do. I know the cats are tired of us. One constant is the beardies. They still just sit on their trees, eat their food, drink their water, and poop. Bearded dragons are most decidedly not impacted by a pandemic.

Those are my rambling thoughts for the evening. I miss writing. And I needed to let it get to a point where I missed it. I hope to write again much sooner that the last time. Be well.